We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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