how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i think my cat just said my name.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
