Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Houston, we have a blender
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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