So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
