I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
