i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
