either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize