she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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