ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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