you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize