I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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