so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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