There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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