I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
