Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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