Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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