lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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