you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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