508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
