so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Randomize
