Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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