Define "chronic" masturbator.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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