were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
they're like a gay fantastic four
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Your cock deserves a montage
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
