dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize