Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
