I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
