you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
