it's like heaven, but drunker
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wear drunk well.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
