Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
