i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The beer is more important than you right now.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
BRING THE BAGELS
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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