Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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