dude i'm inner monologue high
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
