this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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