so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
