i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
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