fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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