Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
