My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
