I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
