there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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