I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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