We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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