is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
