6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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