just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
