I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She bit a glass in half.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
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