He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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