A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
