Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
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