hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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