I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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