I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
