I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
