What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
