ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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