If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
