Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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