I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
