I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
