This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
