Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
