I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
